Life Decisions

I started a new quarter at school today, and in each class they have us write an icebreaker post. It was interesting telling my classmates that I’m a medium and spiritual coach. I’m not crazy I promise! Okay, maybe a little crazy, but all the best people are.

I have a lot of writing and reading to do, but I’m so glad that I’m taking my last literature class ever! I’m so sick and tired of literature. You’d think because I write that I’d love to read books. No. I love reading books, but not for assignments. And I definitely can’t stand doing analysis on what I read. I can’t enjoy the story because I’m too busy thinking “what am I gonna write? What’s the prompt again? Oh shit, I need a thesis. Would this thesis sound good? Am I even analyzing this correctly? Would this analysis even make sense? Would this thesis be enough to fill up the 10 page requirement?” It takes the fun out of it!

My spiritual coaching classes start today for the beginner and intermediate courses. You can still sign up and join us! Each class costs $60 and are 3 weeks long.

Today I wanted to talk and vent a little about where I’m at in my life. I’m going to be turning 22 on December 19th, and I know that’s still considered “young” (I hate being called “young”) but I’m really feeling the pressure to grow the fuck up. I depend on my parents a lot, and I’m tired of it. I’m tired of still being a kid, but I’m scared to be an adult. I want to get my shit together, and people keep saying “well wait until you hit 40… 60… Blah blah blah”. Yeah that’s great, but I’m sure as hell won’t be on my parents’ health insurance, their cell phone service, or even have them help pay for my schooling at 40. I’m talking about finally putting on my big girl panties and finally being responsible. Responsible financially, with my time, my relationships, etc. I honestly didn’t think I’d make it this far in my life, so I’m still in a state of shock that I’m actually living to see 22.

I want to get my shit together so that I can start a family of my own soon. Maybe not this year or next year, but in about 3 or 4 years I can see myself getting married and shit, you know? I want to be somewhat ready for that better than I am right now. I want my child to have the best life possible, and me spending my money on clothes and other selfish expenditures is not very responsible when ya got a kid or a family to help support.

So here’s my plan… For the next year or so, I am going to be selfish for just a little bit longer, and I’m not saying “selfish” as in it’s a bad thing. It’s gonna be all about me, and I’m going to travel and be free! I’m gonna work on myself as a writer, medium, and teacher. After that, I’m going to buckle down and start preparing myself for my next phase in life, which is starting a family because I want that. I want like one kid, and that’s it hahaha!

Anyway, so that’s where I’m at, and I’ve been in such a reflective mood. I haven’t been wanting to be as talkative with people, and very closed off. This isn’t a bad thing. I just want time alone to meditate and think about my life and what I want.

Have a great day everyone! I’ll be busy doing my literature homework and then my English homework tomorrow. Yep! I’m still doing that thing where I smash all my homework into 2 days because apparently I lose my motivation after Tuesdays hahahaha