I had an epiphany while talking with one of my spirit buddies last night. I’m wanting to rebrand myself and stop doing readings. I want to focus on being a spiritual coach and teacher now, so the month of October will be my last month of readings while I get my syllabus together. I’ll also will be able to have more “me” time because my schedule is just so jam packed.
I work as a babysitter for my nephews for 10 hours out of the day, then I bike home and eat a sandwich real quick before I have to meditate for my first reading. I come home around 5:30, and only have time for 2 readings a night. My last reading ends at 8:30, and then I eat something again before taking a shower and going to bed. Then I start all over again in the morning. I’m exhausted! I think in the future when my schedule opens up more and I have more time, I’ll probably do readings. Until then I’m just too darn tired to keep this up.
That and doing readings doesn’t make me as happy as it use to. I’ve been feeling a pull towards teaching instead. My heart picks up its pace and I get all warm and fuzzy inside when I think about being a spiritual coach and teaching others. That is what makes me happy right now, and I gotta go with the flow of my heart, right? I’ll probably still do readings for others as personal favors, but not as my main job anymore. And I’ll have more time to work on my book now! 😀 And do my homework!
For today’s post, I wanted to talk about a dream I had a year ago where I died, but then I was able to see my transition and how it would look when I’d cross over.
I have a lot of dreams where I get shot in the head, and this dream was no different. My parents, my friend from Germany, and I were driving to Arizona to see the Grand Canyon. We got stopped on the side of the road by a highway patrol officer, but it wasn’t really a patrol officer. It seemed like there was something illegal going on, and we saw it happening, so this person disguised as an officer pulled us over. He walked to the passenger side window, and the second my mother rolled down her window, he started shooting at us. A bullet instantly hit my skull first and I died instantly. I was out of my body, but I kept seeing him shoot everyone else over and over. The real police showed up and the fake patrol officer drove off. An ambulance came and managed to get my parents and my friend from Germany to the hospital in time. I decided to leave and just thought about going up.
Then my dream skipped over to another death where I died in my sleep I think. Not sure where I was, but it looked exotic like I was somewhere tropical? Mexico comes to mind or South America. There were those tall palm trees everywhere and mountains close-by with big houses on them. I felt like I was young though. I didn’t feel in my dream that I died of old age. I calmly stood up and walked outside of this house I was in. It was a small home. I think I was on vacation? The houses looked like small vacation homes. Anyway, I went outside and sat on the porch. I was sad because I knew Josh would wake up in the morning to find me dead, which I didn’t want him to experience that. I wish I could’ve left a note? hahahaha! “Hey dude. So I’m dead. Don’t freak out. I love you. Thanks for everything.”
I thought about my family too. I didn’t have any children, and both my parents were alive. I was thinking mostly of my mother and how upset she was going to be, but I knew I’d miss Josh the most. It was a full moon, and I could see the stars. It was so magnificent. Everything looked different to me. All the colors were more vibrant, and I could feel the wind on me. I could feel everything! Literally everything! I sat there for a while and thought about how much I would miss Josh, but I didn’t go back inside to say good-bye because I knew I’d probably want to stay by his side forever.
I saw other bright lights shooting up into the sky, and I felt like I needed to do that too. I needed to follow these little balls of light to the sky. I just let go and started going up. I saw that the other balls of light were souls who had passed on at the same time as me. They were coming from all over the world, and there were some coming from other planets and galaxies! I could feel the wind on my arms, and I could feel the pull lifting me up higher and higher. The air was cool that night.
Then I landed in an area where it was all water. The sky was a greyish blue, and I was scared to step in the water because I didn’t know how deep it was (I was still floating). I saw other souls step in the water, and it was barely an inch deep, so I felt safe landing on my feet again. Underneath the water were small pebbles. It didn’t hurt to walk on them. It felt soft. I was stuck wondering why I was in this space and where I was going to go next.
Right when I thought that, the room changed. Well it didn’t really change. I was just in one place and then the next second I was in another place. It’s weird to describe. I was in an all cement room. There was a huge screen before me with rows of chairs for people to sit in. Spirits were still popping up into the room. I looked around to see if I saw anyone I knew from my lifetime, and I saw a couple of acquaintances from high school, but that was it. Then my friend from Germany popped in from the corner of the room. Then my dream changed to my previous death of being shot by the fake patrol officer. I ran to her and hugged her. Then I shook her by her shoulders. “What are you doing here? You’re suppose to be alive!” My friend shrugged and said, “I died while the doctors were working on me in the hospital.” “Are my parents still alive,” I asked. “Yeah, I think so,” she said.
I was completely heart broken because I knew my parents would be devastated to hear that both my friend and I were dead. Knowing my father, he’d blame himself for everything even though there was nothing he could have done to prevent it. Then I thought about my friend’s parents. “Your parents will be so devastated to hear that you passed away while visiting us, “I said, “everyone will be so upset. You can’t die! You just can’t!” My friend just shrugged.
I let go of her and decided to focus on the big screen. It was weird because I didn’t hold on to my worry or sadness for very long. It just disappeared instantly, and a sense of calm took over. I sat in one of the chairs waiting for the movie to play. I knew we were all waiting for something, and I knew that the movie would be different for all of us. I just felt it. I felt like I was waiting to meet God too, but it didn’t feel like judgement day. It just felt like we were going to go over what happened in our lives and why we died, but for everyone it’d be different. The movie would play at the same time for everyone, but everyone would see something different on the screen since everyone lived a different life. There’d be no judgement though. It’d be like we would be observing something without bias.
I saw that the movie was about to begin, and I was looking for my friend. I turned around and saw that she was sitting on the tables behind me. I ran to her and told her she had to sit in a chair. She shrugged and said, “I don’t want to. I want to sit here.” “But you have to sit in a chair,” I said, “that’s why they’re there. We don’t want to get in trouble.” “I don’t give a fuck,” she said. This was the first time I ever heard her cuss before. “You only die once, right?” She laughed, and then I woke up from my dream.
I hope you all enjoyed it! Have a beautiful rest of the week!