Surviving the Human Experience: Dealing with Drama by NOT Dealing With It

In life, you’re going to deal with drama. It just comes with being human and being here on Earth. My theory is that we’re all just bored on this rock in space, so we decide to fight over stupid, trivial shit to pass the time. Just look at some people’s hobbies! Jumping out of planes. Bungee jumping off of cliffs. We’re all just bored and trying to find more unique ways to kill ourselves hahahaha!

Anyway, when drama happens, the question is how you handle it. What the fuck do I do about this bitch stirring up some trouble for me? Do I punch her in the face? Do I come up with some witty remark? First thing you gotta realize is that whoever is causing these troubles is having some deep internal issues going on that has nothing to do with you. You’re just his or her way of purging, which is fucked up, but true. If anything, they need the most love. If they don’t like you, it’s really about them not liking themselves. There is something about you that makes them feel inferior. It could that you share a similar personality trait as them that they don’t like to see in themselves. Or you have a certain strength that they wish they had so they’re jealous. Really, it boils down to it being about them.

Therefore, it is their EGO that dislikes you and not who they truly are. Their human ego is the thing that has the problem with you, but not their true essence (their soul). For me, that is enough to let go of most of my frustration concerning the drama. If anything, it makes me feel sorry for the person and wanna hug ’em. Usually when someone doesn’t like me, I think, “Well fuck ’em! I won’t like you either!” But that’s not the route you wanna go down.

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Let me share a bit of a story time with you. When I was in high school, which is where you first learn how to handle drama for the adult world, there was this girl named Tori who did not like me. I had just transferred to the school during the middle of the second semester, so you can imagine how left out I felt. During the first few weeks, I ate my lunch in the bathroom stall. I tried hanging out with these Jesus loving chicks, but they were way too Christian for me.

Anyway, this Tori chick felt threatened by me when I started to hang out with her group of friends by the amphitheater. There was nothing but guys that were in the group, which I preferred. All we did was talk about anime and video games. I didn’t know it at the time, but I guess she had claimed that group hers. I was unaware of this being the African jungle, so I didn’t realize I was in this young lionesses “stomping ground.” I figured we were civilized beings that outgrew crap like that. Pretty much what it was is that she didn’t like that I was there getting all the attention. Because let’s be honest… I was the new girl. I was just something shiny and new for the boys to stare at, which would die off soon enough, but this pissed off Tori to no end.

So I’ve only been there for about a month or a month in a half, but for some reason apparently I already had the reputation of being a whore. While I was sitting in the library with a couple of my new friends, a boy and a couple of his brute-like friends approached me snickering. I looked at them questioningly, and they said, “Is it true?”

I said, “If you’re having to ask me, it’s probably not true… What is true?”

They continued to snicker like little school boys. “That you slept with Kyle (forgot his last name) in his hot tub last week, and then you had a threesome later on that same evening.”

My eyes widened in surprise, and I was oddly impressed with this fake Heather. “Wow, that sounds like a lot of work.”

“So is it?”

My mantra in life is to handle things with a sense of humor. It makes things so much funnier and easier. I looked to them and said, “I wish I were that sly in bed. I can’t even get one word out of my mouth without stuttering in front of a boy.”

They all laughed. We bumped fists and they walked off. I didn’t pay mind to the rumors because I figured that was all I’d hear about it, but it got progressively worse. When I was in PE the next day, it turned out that girls don’t like it when they hear you sleep around, true or not. If they even whiff that you’ve slept with a guy, you’re automatically an outsider. I was fine with that because I’ve always been alone, but it was the stares I couldn’t stand. The giggling and the stink eye.

A girl in the PE class sat down next to me and said, “Yeah, so I heard you’re an A class whore.”

“I’d say I’m more of a B class, but I like the compliment.”

This made her laugh and she said, “I knew it wasn’t true.”

“Who started it anyway?” When she mentioned Tori’s name, I connected the dots. The first day she met me, she did that thing most girls do, which is stare you up and down trying to find some flaw about you that’ll make herself feel better.

So how did I handle this? Well I approached her first off and asked her if it was true what she was saying. She put her hand to her chest in shock and said, “Of course not! Why would I do that? I hardly know you.” My gut said she was lying, but I always believed in the benefit of the doubt.

After that, it seemed the rumors got even worse! Apparently, I was dating two different guys from two different schools. When asked by my peers if this was true, I said, “Shit, I didn’t even know this. I must be one bad girlfriend to not even know I was in a relationship let alone two! I wonder when our anniversaries are.”

Everything I handled with a sense of humor, which seemed to make people lighten up. I found out for sure it was Tori when I caught her whispering in some girl’s ear as she eyed me. You know that thing girls do when they’re talking shit and they glare at you as they do this. When Tori was done, the girl approached me and said, “Hey, yeah. Tori just said…” You get the story. I don’t gotta tell ya the details of the “he said, she said.”

I was more annoyed that anything, but I kept my cool. What I have learned is people can handle drama in one of two ways, you can either ignore it or try to do something about it. From my experience, stepping into the drama only makes it worse. It may feel like you’re doing something about it, but very rarely does it ever go your way. Yes, it’ll end, but it won’t be pretty. It’s all about how you approach the situation.

I decided to ignore it, and when approached about it, I’d say something funny to break the ice. Eventually, people caught on to it all being lies and rumors. It took some time, but some people are slow learners, you know? My group of guy friends sort of “exiled” her from the group because let’s be honest, who wants to deal with someone who brings in drama? We just wanna play video games and have a good time. High school is already hard enough as it is.

There were still some that chose to believe the rumors, but honestly, that says more about those people’s characters. Rumors die when they reach a wise person’s ears. I don’t want to be surrounded by people who believe and help spread rumors. Through this drama, I learned who my true friends were and I surrounded myself with decent and kind people. I guess that was the lesson or thing I gained through this experience: I gained my first close friendships at a new school 🙂

 

 

4 comments

  1. Angelina says:

    Fuckin love it! I can totally relate to this read. I myself don’t like being caught up in any kind of drama. I’m so lucky to work from home and not deal with the office drama either. People do talk shit even if you’re not around. At least i don’t have to be around it. If I ever miss it, I just talk shit about myself 😂. Great read Heather. Very relatable!

  2. Kathy Dench says:

    Perfect timing for me to read this! Love it! Love you! Thank you for being so willing to share your experience, Heather, my friend! <3

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