The Different Love Languages

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Today I’m going to discuss the different love languages. I remember my English teacher taught about this in class after he read a book about the 5 different love languages. He mentioned how a lot of couples end up in fights, breaking up, or feeling insecure in their relationship due to miscommunication. A lot of that miscommunication can be fixed if you’d both meet one another half way.

I speak a different love language than my boyfriend. I’m a writer, so I’m all about words. You have to TELL me you love me. You have to TELL me how you feel. I won’t get the subtle hints or nice gestures. It just doesn’t compute for me. If a guy handed me a bouquet of flowers, I’d think, “cool. He’s really nice, but that doesn’t mean he likes me. He could just be a-giving-roses type of guy.” You have to actually tell me how you feel. I won’t get it any other way.

Josh (my boyfriend) speaks a whole different love language that I have observed. He’s not really about words, which can be troublesome for me. He’s the quiet type. He is about action. He will SHOW me he loves me by doing small and simple things like calling me to let me know when he’ll be home from work, opening the door for me, holding me when I cry, making me breakfast in the morning, putting time out of his day to spend alone time with me, etc. He doesn’t buy me gifts though. He’s not really the gift giving type. His gift is spending time with you and showing he cares with his small gestures. That’s Josh’s love language, and that’s my favorite one.

It works out really well because even though I’m all about words myself, if a guy were to write me some love poem or give me a million roses or a big stuffed teddy bear, I’d feel awkward. I don’t like things like that. To me, the simpler the better. Take me out to go see the stars or take me out for a picnic. Let’s eat some greasy ass food in the back of your car and tell jokes. That is perfect to me. Sometimes it can be hard because I just want him to tell me how he feels, but he’s not very verbal.

According to Gary Chapman, the author of The 5 Love Languages, says there are 5 love languages:

  • Words of Affirmation (that’s my love language)
  •  Acts of Service-doing favors and helping your loved one through simple chores like washing dishes, cleaning, helping them accomplish their goals
  • Receiving Gifts-giving gifts like roses, a favorite book, an outfit, etc.
  • Quality Time-setting time aside to spend with your partner
  • Physical Touch-something as small as a hand on a shoulder or something like a kiss can be someone’s form of love language

I have noticed that some people have more than one love language, like me. Not only are words my love language, but so is physical touch. This is where Josh and I meet one another half way because his is also physical touch too. Ever since learning these different love languages, I told Josh about them, and we’ve learned to understand one another even more.

What is your love language?

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/

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One comment

  1. Karin Mund says:

    I’m a weiter type as you are, Heather!
    I also need to give and get in touch with my love one!
    I also be lucky about when he gives me a part of his time, I’m not Expertin or enjoying big gifts, but I do love gifts that show me that he listen to what I was say ing like I love to spenden time together ging outside, setting in a coffee-shop, drinking and eating-disorder a pieseln of cake!
    My husband is someone who dont want to talk at all! If I’m asking him to talk with me he feels himself troubled by me and sometimes he gets angreifen about!
    He’s showing me his love like Joch does, with calling me if he travels without me just to tell me that he arrived and is ok!
    He also doesnt like me to ask how he is feeling, because he says that he dont need a motherfigur beside him!
    He toleranter what I’ve been trough the first 25 years of my life and the consequences that I’m very sensible in being touched if I didnt expected it! When I’m crying he doesnt take me in his arms, thats not his Stile, he touched my shoulder instead and leave the room I am in so he gives me time to cry all my sorrounded laying on my heart out! If I’m grounded again he touched me face and shows me that he is glad that I feel calmed now!
    When I’m ill, and I am unfortunately ill very often, he help me even by doing the house work for me!

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