What Actually Takes Place During a Reading with a Medium?

I was having trouble with the link, so let’s try this post again!

Sorry for not posting yesterday. I was just so exhausted. I went out on a date with my boyfriend, and we stayed up kind of late. That and I never go outside, so when I do and I’m surrounded by all those people, it can drain my energy.

Anyway! A topic that kept coming up over the past couple of days is why some readings with mediums go bad or what does it take for a reading to go successfully? A lot of people don’t fully understand what actually takes place in a reading.

I’ve had “bad” readings with mediums before, and I’ve also been the medium during a “bad” reading. It happens from time to time for sitters (customers/clients/the one receiving the reading), and it happens to all mediums. Everyone is quick to blame the medium, but not all the time is it the medium’s fault. There’s a lot that takes place in a reading in order to make it a success.

The Sitter

The sitter or the person receiving the reading plays an important role. In my opinion, the sitter is the most crucial role during the reading. If the sitter is not open during the reading, then that can block out the medium. Sometimes sitters will have a lot of doubt in mediumship or in that particular medium, and that doubt can close off your energy. When your energy becomes closed off, it prevents the medium from being able to fully connect and contact your guides, angels, and loved ones. Sometimes they’ll doubt that medium is truly contacting their loved one and try to test the medium, and that can close off your energy to the medium because your doubt is creeping in.

Being open is so much more than just not doubting. It also involves letting go of expectation and a lot of want. I can’t tell you how many times a sitter was upset because I didn’t give them the answer they wanted to hear, so they completely closed themselves off to me and assumed I wasn’t the “real deal”. Having high expectations of wanting your reading to go a specific way can really box you in on your experience. It’ll close you off to the other answers, and leave you feeling disappointed because a loved one didn’t say a specific nickname or you didn’t get that specific piece of validation that you had asked for. Yet the validation did come, but the sitter was too busy having their eyes set on a specific outcome that they were completely blind to anything else.

A suggestion to anyone receiving a reading is to take a moment to relax about an hour or half hour before the reading. Do an exercise where you let go of expectation and say to yourself, “I will open up my energy completely to the medium, so that they can read me fully.” Then call in your guides, angels, or loved one that you want to appear in the reading and ask them to go to the medium and be as open and clear as possible for them. Put the intent out there that the reading will go successfully. The biggest thing here is letting go.

The Medium

The medium is simply the messenger in all of this, and is not responsible for anything other than listening to spirit and relaying the message. A lot of responsibility falls solely onto the medium, but a reading really is a team effort between the medium, the sitter, and spirit. Now a reading can go unsuccessfully due to the medium because of a few reasons: the medium is having an “off” day, the medium has a lot of doubt/lack of confidence in themselves and their abilities, or the medium can’t connect with the sitter or spirit’s energy.

We all have those days that are “off”. You know those days that just feel weird, you’re in a bad mood, or everything just seems to go wrong? Mediums are people too, so we get those days in our lives. Some mediums will reschedule their appointments with the sitter if they feel they’re having an off day, but surprisingly, sitters tend to get upset a lot when mediums do that. That’s mostly because they don’t fully understand why the rescheduling is happening. Having “off” days can leave the medium closed off to spirit. Mediums have to raise their vibrations enough in order to hear better, and when they’re having a bad day and their mood is very negative, it can make it difficult for the medium to push past that and raise their vibrations high enough for a clear reading. Sometimes a medium may feel “off” because their connection to spirit that day may be fuzzy. It can get like that sometimes where the medium’s energy is just not aligned right enough to connect with spirit.

A lot of the times a lack in confidence and having doubt in their own abilities can really block off a medium. This happens a lot with practicing mediums, or a medium honing on a new skill. For instance, I get nervous when someone wants me to contact a loved one because in the past I haven’t been very successful. That fear of being “wrong” and disappointing the sitter closes me off, and I block myself from hearing clearly. This is something I’m still practicing on, but I don’t charge for those practice readings because there are no guarantees. A lot of the time, the medium may not say the whole truth on what they’re hearing, seeing, or feeling out of fear that they may be wrong. Their doubt can close themselves off from hearing spirit clearly and causes a lot of second guessing.

Have you ever met someone that you just don’t click with? That person rubs you off the wrong way, and you may get annoyed easily by them for no reason? You guys may not see eye to eye on anything. This is someone where your energies just don’t mesh well together, and that happens to all of us whether medium or not. Both your energies are at different frequencies, and this may cause for the medium to not read and connect to your energy very well. This can also happen between a medium and a spirit because since we are all energy, the same applies to spirits. I’ve had this happen to me a couple of times before, and the best solution to this problem is to be open and honest with the sitter. Let them know that you’re not connecting well. Honesty is the best policy, and I always offer a refund and give them resources to other mediums that may be able to connect with them better.


This is another big one. You can try to connect and do the reading all you want, but if the spirit doesn’t want to talk, then no go. Spirits are us. We all are spiritual beings, and sometimes spirits don’t feel like talking or won’t give away information. Sometimes the spirit doesn’t connect well with the medium, and that goes into the whole energies not meshing well thing.

When you contact a guide or angel, they sometimes will not answer all your questions. Spirits are really the ones that have full control over the conversation, and they get to decide where the reading is headed. Sometimes you may ask a question like “I want to talk to my uncle Fred”, but your guides may say, “nope. We’re going to talk about your lack of self worth, and we want to talk about how you can accomplish getting over that. If uncle Fred has something to add, then he can.”

Your spirit team will most likely want to talk about your progress and help you with suggestions and guidance during a reading, but some spirits won’t take complete control over the reading, and they will let you ask all the questions. Not all the time will they answer every question because the question you may have asked they don’t want to give the answer to or the answer won’t benefit you in any way. They don’t want to interfere with your life path, so they may avoid answering a specific question.

Also, most spirits don’t play the “validation game”. What I mean by that is that if you’re looking to test the medium, they most likely will not give you the answers you seek to the medium because they’re not interested in proving that they exist. They know that they exist, and if you’re not ready to open yourself up spirit and be ready for communication, then they will not engage with you. They can’t make you believe. You have to do that yourself. The confirmation doesn’t come externally, but rather internally. You may receive the validation you seek in a reading, but it will come in ways you least expect.

A reading is really a team effort between the sitter, the medium, and spirit. The responsibility doesn’t fall solely onto the medium, but rather everyone involved is a little bit responsible for how the reading will go. Working together is what makes the reading successful.